There are 292 entries in Rants
FEATURED RANTS

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The Not Quite #6: The King of Comedy (1982)
Read more: The Not Quite #6: The King of Comedy (1982)Scorsese’s cinematic partnership with De Niro is among the most legendary of the twentieth century, hemorrhaging up blood-soaked classics like Taxi Driver and Goodfellas. It wasn’t all plain slaying, though. Just take a look at the headache-inducing musical New York, New York in which De Niro argues nonstop with Liza Minnelli. Then there’s the redundant,…
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Batman Returns Again
Read more: Batman Returns AgainSome people think Die Hard is a Christmas movie and I’m not here to contradict them though it’s in my every bone to do so, it’s Christmas, we should get along, somebody somewhere invented the idea that it was rude to ask these people exactly what the analytical criteria for a Christmas movie might be,…
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Disaster, 70’s Style: Part 4
Read more: Disaster, 70’s Style: Part 4Movie: Avalanche (1978) “I always thought survival meant being king of the mountain.” Avalanche (1978) Preamble: Given the title, can you work out what’s gonna happen? Control freak and shady businessman Rock Hudson, who looks gayer with each passing scene, is busy doing his best to resemble Kim Jong-il’s puppet in Team America: World Police.…
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Disaster, 70’s Style: Part 3
Read more: Disaster, 70’s Style: Part 3Movie: Airport (1975) “You mean, the stewardess is flying the plane?!” Airport 1975 Preamble: Heart attacks regularly pop up in disaster flicks. They’re convenient, can happen at any stress-related time, and are cheap to film. Here a bloke flying a light aircraft is having ticker trouble. Seconds later his twin-engine motorized gnat crashed into a…
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Memorable Movie Reflections: The Marx Brothers
Read more: Memorable Movie Reflections: The Marx BrothersHooray for Captain Spaulding, The African explorer. He brought his name undying fame and that is why we say, Hooray, Hooray, Hooray. Yes, hooray for Captain Spaulding upon his return from the last trip to Africa, complete with entourage (Yes my friends, an entourage is required, even for the terminal mediocrity of today. The intrepid…
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A Think Piece About Think Pieces That Will Change the Way You Think About Pieces
Read more: A Think Piece About Think Pieces That Will Change the Way You Think About PiecesRape, is it good or bad? You probably said…
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Tina! Bring Me The Axe!
Read more: Tina! Bring Me The Axe!Cinema is littered with ridiculous turns, most of them delivered by Nic Cage. Talented as he is at scenery chewing (as anyone who’s seen Con Air or The Wicker Man remake will attest) I still don’t think his frequent hammy excesses can ever reach the level of Faye Dunaway in Mommie Dearest. This 1981 travesty…
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I Went With What the French Call: les apeshit
Read more: I Went With What the French Call: les apeshitExcuse me, you say, Oh sagacious and inerrant Mr. Cobb–however do they market our movies overseas? One word: Badly. –So it’s just a direct translation, then? Two words: You wish. Or, as they would translate that sentiment in Malaysia: Of Terrible Consequence to Original Things Super-Duper High-Five. “They called this movie ‘Little Jew I Want…
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A Cinephile Has Bizarre Wishes
Read more: A Cinephile Has Bizarre WishesOne-He wants ALL the film merch of Pee Wee’s Big Adventure that they only released in Japan and Burma and include characters that weren’t in the movie like ‘Mecha-Francis’;, Two-He wants the power to mix and match the lesser-known, overlooked film actors he feels haven’t been bathed in divine glory as he believes, in his…
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The Ruthless Guide to 80s Action Movies: Volume 1
by Erich Schulte (Author), Matt Cale (Author), Mike McGowan (Author), John Gautreaux (Author), Devon Pack (Author), Sarah Sarah Rhodes (Author), Shelby Sherman (Author), Michael Behrens (Author), Juan Konstantin (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
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TOP 10
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Devilish Dwarves
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My Own Personal Jesus-The Eureka Springs Experience
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Chester Visits the Iowa State Fair
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The Best Film Ever Made About…
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The Case For Christ
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The Gleeful Slaughter of Children
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The Metric System Is Stupid
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Imaginative Bursts of Sadism
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A Few More Ruthless Villains: 80’s Action Edition
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Three Guesses as To Why the Most Successful Movie Franchise is the Least Culturally Impactful: -or- Why Avatar Fire and Ash will make a lot of money and leave no legacy.
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Kesey & The Cuckoo’s
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The Misunderstood: Agent Smith in The Matrix
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Gremlins vs. Minions, An Analysis
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Kris-Mus in Kaamasmukka
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A Christmas Gift: Explaining the Stock Market Scene in Trading Places
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Dr. Suess’s Ron & Jim Ruined Christmas
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Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
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Forrest Gump: The Movie We Love (To Loathe)
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Elf (2003)
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Top 10 Film Directors of All Time: A view from two Ruthless writers
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A Charlie Brown Christmas Special (1965)
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Football vs. Kickball: A Eurotrash Perspective
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Confession Of A Cat Murderer
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Jim Morrison: A Tribute
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Waterworld: More like Waterloo (1995)
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Rambo and the Germans
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Stephen is The King of Kings: Or, How Loudness Mistook Itself for Luminosity
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It’s Halloween, I hate Stephen King: Here’s Why
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Top 10 Halloween Candies That Are More Trick Than Treat
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Reflections on Halloween and other essential holidays