You see, the thing is, with demonic possession, it’s internal. Therein lies the real horror. All those other fiendish things we discussed so far in this series are out there. So, you can either run from them or shoot them in the head (twice, preferably). But when a demon takes hold of you, there’s nowhere to run. The evil is you.
Of course, nowadays, we would just call it psychosis, put you in a straitjacket, and be done with it. But since that doesn’t make much of a movie…
“I’ve been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man’s soul and faith”
When your audience is nauseated, vomiting, fainting and fleeing the auditorium – you know you’ve done something right as a filmmaker… When this movie came out, it struck all sorts of chords. It got banned in some places; children were forbidden to see it, and people actually got sick. Sick! Like that fountain of it erupting from Regan’s swiveling head! But I’m getting ahead of myself… The story: 12-year-old Regan (Linda Blair) gets possessed by an ancient demon. At first, all sorts of doctors and tests are called upon, but as things get ever weirder – and projectile – it becomes clear that priests are needed.
What sets The Exorcist apart from later demon movies is its sheer seriousness. No camp, no cheap shocks – just a grim and bleak confrontation with faith, doubt, and the ultimate stakes: a child’s soul and the universe itself. The priests aren’t heroes; they’re men wrestling with fear and belief, pawns between God and the devil. The silhouette of a lonely priest in the streetlight, looking up at Regan’s window…
And, also, little girls that walk inside-out inverted down the stairs like some sick, twisted mix of a demon crab and a human being, that then twists its head around, all the way, with a nice, moist, neck-cracking sound, and then smiles at you, while sideways crabbing through the hallway… Let’s not forget about that.
As for the movie in general, the usual superlatives apply to a classic of this stature. It was rightfully showered with awards and has remained a major influence on pop culture and horror movies ever since.
Top Tip: Don’t eat green-pea soup before you are possessed.
Following in the wake of The Exorcist, several films took the ‘innocent child versus evil demon’-theme and became icons in their own right. This one follows Robert Thorn (Gregory Peck), an American diplomat living in London, who gradually discovers that his adopted son, Damien, may in fact be the Antichrist. As ominous signs and a series of ‘accidents’ pile up, it becomes clear that dark forces are actively protecting the child and eliminating anyone who gets too close to the truth.
The core difference between this film and The Exorcist is that Regan starts out as a little (human) girl who is then possessed by something evil, while Damien is Satan from the very beginning. He isn’t scared or pitiful – quite the contrary: that creepy little kid seems to revel in his wickedness. Other than that, it has much of its predecessor’s bleakness and seriousness. Damien must be stopped, or the world will end – type of serious. A slew of inferior sequels followed, but to me, the first will always be the best.
Top tip: if you don’t want lord Satan to invade your firstborn, don’t name him ‘prickly demon’.
“They’re here.”
The last in this little trilogy of demon-eats-child is a little less ‘bleak and serious’ and a little more ‘our child has disappeared into another dimension through a portal in the closet,’ but in my own little shop of horrors, this is just as memorable as the previous two. I saw all three movies for the first time when I was still a kid myself, and what I remember most about this one is that it actually scared me. Only good horror movies can do that.
The story revolves around 5-year-old Carol Anne, who starts conversing with the TV while it displays post-broadcast static. Then all sorts of weird things start happening: milk glasses break spontaneously, furniture starts moving by itself… And then a tree tries to devour her brother while she herself gets sucked into the TV and is held captive by a demon called The Beast, so her family has to cross over and rescue her. So, yes, a little less serious. But still very good.
Top tip: stop building houses on former cemeteries.
“There’s a tape recorder here…”
Now, let’s dispense with the seriousness altogether and break out the chainsaws! It’s demon-hacking time… Hello, Ash! (What? Yes, 1981 comes before 1982. I can count as well. Again, what’s your point?) This movie is famous, among other things, for being one of the first to use the ‘cabin in the woods’ trope. But most of all because of Ash!
The story? Ash and his friends spend a vacation at a remote cabin. They find an old book called the Necronomicon that’s full of incantations to summon the dead. They then summon the dead. Story!
Bruce Campbell doesn’t have the most impressive of careers by any means, but this movie and both sequels will forever cement his place in horror movie greatness. Although this first installment was still mostly intended as semi-serious slasher-horror, part two takes the use of gore, guts, and garden tools to a whole new level. But it’s not until Army of Darkness that it goes completely off the rails as Ash gets transported to the year 1300 A.D., where he has to fight hordes of the undead. Over the course of three movies, he evolves from a mere axe-wielding human to a deadite-chopping superhero with a chainsaw for an arm. Rock on, Ash!
Top tip: finish shop class, kids.
“I’m a man of wealth and taste”
Who do you want to play Satan dressed as a high-powered lawyer in New York? Al Pacino.
Oh, you want more? Well, alright then… So, Al Pacino plays Satan, who chose to reincarnate as a lawyer in modern-day Manhattan. (I guess ‘politician’ would’ve been too obvious…) He tries to convince Keanu Reeves, who is secretly his son, to have sex with his half-sister so she can conceive the Antichrist. (Many of these movies try that, it seems. They always fail. Maybe he doesn’t want to be born into this world of ours. Or even needs to…) Pacino exudes malice with a smile as he manipulates everyone around him, standing at the edge of his infinity pool at his penthouse overlooking the park… Yes, I’m a fan of (the) man, too.
To watch on YouTube directly, Click Here
Top tip: please don’t completely destroy what was, up to that point, a pretty decent movie by declaring that it was all just a dream. Please.
“Killed the Tsar and his ministers
Anastasia screamed in vain”
Starring Martin Sheen, John Leguizamo, and Michael Jai White, so, yes, we’ve now entered nineties B-movie territory. A comic book adaptation from creator Todd McFarlane, made into a somewhat underwhelming demon action movie. Supposedly, a third of its budget of 45 million was spent on special effects, and they still look like they were made with Windows 98.
It tells us of Al Simmons (White), a CIA operative who is betrayed by his boss (Sheen) and because he was such a bad boy during his life, what with all the murdering and all, he goes straight to hell. Rightly so. But, because this is a movie, he then, of course, strikes a deal with the resident Mephisto, promising to lead his armies against heaven, and gets sent back to Earth as the devil’s hellspawn, all strong and muscular and angry. His supersuit tries to be what Tony Stark’s nanotech suit actually was but fails miserably due to being made in the wrong decade. Back on Earth, he gets counseling from a fat clown. And revenge, as well.
Top tip: if the devil promises something, don’t believe him.
“Rotten eggs and the safety of mankind.”
Who do you want to play an otherworldly red demon with broken-off horns and a hand made of stone? Ron Perlman.
Oh, you want… Yeah. But, yeah! Who else? Directed by Guillermo del Toro and also starring Selma Blair and John Hurt, this is also a comic book adaptation, but a much better one than Spawnie. In it, we learn how the Nazis, fans as they were of everything occult and creepy, brought Hellboy into this world. Still a little baby demon at the time, he gets taken in by the young scientist Broom Bruttenholm (Hurt). I guess giving the lead characters cool names was not a priority. Fast forward sixty years, and cute little Hellboy is now all grown up and big and burly and still called ‘boy’, for some reason. He works for something called the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense, whose primary task it is to ‘bump back.’ Against those who go bump in the… yeah. Enter Rasputin and a gun that shoots garlic bullets, and all will be fine.
Top tip: shaving your horns with an angle grinder does not make you fit in.
“I was ’round when Jesus Christ
Had his moment of doubt and pain”
The third and final comic book entry gives us Keanu Reeves as a cynical, chain-smoking demon hunter in Los Angeles. When we meet him, he just happens to prevent a demon from coming into this world through the stomach of some young girl! Wouldn’t you know it… He gets approached by Rachel Weisz, whose twin sister jumped off a building, but not before looking back at the security camera and whispering something… Or did she?
The rest of the story revolves around the Roman ‘Spear of Destiny’ that supposedly pierced the side of one Jesus H. Christ and therefore can be used by jealous bitch Gabriel (Tilda Swinton), of archangel fame, to unleash hell on Earth. It all adds up to a well-made movie with a good story and some cool special effects.
Top tip: if you get cancer from smoking, Satan will save you.
“But what’s puzzlin’ you
Is the nature of my game”
Now, what if every demon story you’ve ever heard of (and some you haven’t) is actually true and makes victims on a regular basis all over the world? So that their blood can be used to feed ancient Cthulhu-like demons and prevent them from eating the world? Wouldn’t that be cool? Yes, it would! See here the premise for this movie. Co-written by Joss Whedon, it stars Chris Hemsworth and his group of friends who go vacationing in a cabin. In the woods, yes. There they find an entire collection of demon-evoking curiosa. They then, of course, activate one of them, and the fun of predicting who gets impaled or hacked to pieces first can begin. A very original story, made into a slick-looking movie starring young & beautiful people who all die gruesome deaths. What’s not to like?
Top tip: go to Ibiza.
“Of course, nowadays, we would just call it psychosis, put you in a straitjacket, and be done with it.”
It might not make much of a movie, but it does make much of a TV show! And a really, really weird one, too… It actually takes my remark as a premise as it presents us with David Haller (Dan Stevens), a man who’s been diagnosed with schizophrenia at a young age and who spends most of his time in various psychiatric hospitals. In the latest one, he meets a woman named Syd Barret (Rachel Keller) who tells him that he may not be sick at all but instead has superpowers. She’s there for a reason too, after all…
I said that Constantine was the final comic book entry. I lied. David Haller, as it turns out, is the bastard son of professor Charles Xavier, of wheelchair fame. Yes. And to say that then all sorts of weird things start happening would not only mean repeating one of my own clichés but also grossly understating this great series. It messes with your mind constantly, so you’re never sure if what David experiences happens in the real world, or inside his head, or on the astral plane, and it does all that in a cool and stylized manner as well. Highly recommended.
Top tip: demons can be vanquished with a dance battle.
To watch directly on YouTube, Click Here
***
“Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name!”
See Other Great Fear Fomenters HERE
Leave a Reply