I am not insane! You are! All of you are! I am the only sane person left on this planet! Because you are all under the influence of Pan, the flute-wielding god of the Pan-Americana highway.

Evil is a human concept. AI isn’t evil; it optimizes.

Satan loves you. You see, the thing is, with demonic possession, it’s internal. Therein lies the real horror.

As a creature, I am as old as the Earth itself. I’ve seen it all, from the very first amoeba frolicking around in a rockpool right up through every one of the extinction-level events: I was there.

Being smart and self-aware (in general, that is…) has given us monkeys a lot of advantages: we were able to get out of our caves and into nice, comfortable homes with central heating, running water, and, preferably, a high-speed internet connection.