Category: Movies
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The Godfather Part 2
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Read more: The Godfather Part 2There are three things in this life that I can recommend without the slightest bit of hesitation: finding a job that requires minimal effort, finding a spouse that can engage in spirited conversation, and, perhaps above all, watching The Godfather Part II on the big screen as it was intended.
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Spider-Man
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Read more: Spider-ManWow! I mean, fuck me and wow! Spider-Man is an amazing movie.
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Gigli
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Read more: GigliI want to die.
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The Getaway (1972)
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Read more: The Getaway (1972)Steve McQueen stars as Doc McCoy, a con who just can’t take being locked up anymore, especially after the parole board rejects him.
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The Alamo
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Read more: The AlamoJonny is starting to dislike history… If nothing else, The Alamo falsifies the theory that Dennis Quaid will only appear in movies with “good” scripts. Man, was this movie bad. I guess I need to get into the tediousness, the mendacity, how belabored the whole project was, but what I find stupefying is that supposedly…
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Adaptation
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Read more: AdaptationA truly original motion picture is, like a deep-thinking conservative, a rare find in the world today. Given the sheer, deafening volume of clichéd-ridden garbage that seems to flow endlessly from the sewers of Hollywood, it seems almost impossible that a work of daring and mad brilliance could ever be produced in any corner of…
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Onward
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Read more: OnwardAre elves aliens? The thoughts of a seven-year old are amazing, especially that he is taking care not to spoil too much. Here are some of those thoughts about the latest Pixar movie, Onward. Alright, what’s the movie we’re talking about right now?Onward. What is Onward?It’s a movie. What is the movie Onward about?These kids,…
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The Invisible Man (2020)
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Read more: The Invisible Man (2020)See what I mean? There have been plenty of adaptations of H.G. Wells’ classic The Invisible Man, going all the way back to 1933. My personal experience covers the pretty bad Hollow Man (featuring Kevin Bacon) and hot garbage that is The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, not to mention the original novel itself. Based on…
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Death Wish 3 : 25 Years, 25 Memories
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Read more: Death Wish 3 : 25 Years, 25 MemoriesA quarter-century of brilliance.
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Sonic the Hedgehog
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Read more: Sonic the HedgehogFair enough. My son was looking forward to seeing Sonic for weeks. I was not as enthusiastic, but such are the sacrifices a parent makes for his kid. Unlike him, my memory of Sonic goes all the way back to the original Sega Genesis game, not to mention I also remember many crappy movies based…