Category: Rants
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The Not Quite #6: The King of Comedy (1982)
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Read more: The Not Quite #6: The King of Comedy (1982)Scorsese’s cinematic partnership with De Niro is among the most legendary of the twentieth century, hemorrhaging up blood-soaked classics like Taxi Driver and Goodfellas. It wasn’t all plain slaying, though. Just take a look at the headache-inducing musical New York, New York in which De Niro argues nonstop with Liza Minnelli. Then there’s the redundant,…
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Batman Returns Again
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Read more: Batman Returns AgainSome people think Die Hard is a Christmas movie and I’m not here to contradict them though it’s in my every bone to do so, it’s Christmas, we should get along, somebody somewhere invented the idea that it was rude to ask these people exactly what the analytical criteria for a Christmas movie might be,…
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Disaster, 70’s Style: Part 4
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Read more: Disaster, 70’s Style: Part 4Movie: Avalanche (1978) “I always thought survival meant being king of the mountain.” Avalanche (1978) Preamble: Given the title, can you work out what’s gonna happen? Control freak and shady businessman Rock Hudson, who looks gayer with each passing scene, is busy doing his best to resemble Kim Jong-il’s puppet in Team America: World Police.…
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Disaster, 70’s Style: Part 3
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Read more: Disaster, 70’s Style: Part 3Movie: Airport (1975) “You mean, the stewardess is flying the plane?!” Airport 1975 Preamble: Heart attacks regularly pop up in disaster flicks. They’re convenient, can happen at any stress-related time, and are cheap to film. Here a bloke flying a light aircraft is having ticker trouble. Seconds later his twin-engine motorized gnat crashed into a…
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Memorable Movie Reflections: The Marx Brothers
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Read more: Memorable Movie Reflections: The Marx BrothersHooray for Captain Spaulding, The African explorer. He brought his name undying fame and that is why we say, Hooray, Hooray, Hooray. Yes, hooray for Captain Spaulding upon his return from the last trip to Africa, complete with entourage (Yes my friends, an entourage is required, even for the terminal mediocrity of today. The intrepid…
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A Think Piece About Think Pieces That Will Change the Way You Think About Pieces
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Read more: A Think Piece About Think Pieces That Will Change the Way You Think About PiecesRape, is it good or bad? You probably said…
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Tina! Bring Me The Axe!
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Read more: Tina! Bring Me The Axe!Cinema is littered with ridiculous turns, most of them delivered by Nic Cage. Talented as he is at scenery chewing (as anyone who’s seen Con Air or The Wicker Man remake will attest) I still don’t think his frequent hammy excesses can ever reach the level of Faye Dunaway in Mommie Dearest. This 1981 travesty…
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300 by Wax
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Read more: 300 by WaxTriumph of the Will(y).
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I Went With What the French Call: les apeshit
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Read more: I Went With What the French Call: les apeshitExcuse me, you say, Oh sagacious and inerrant Mr. Cobb–however do they market our movies overseas? One word: Badly. –So it’s just a direct translation, then? Two words: You wish. Or, as they would translate that sentiment in Malaysia: Of Terrible Consequence to Original Things Super-Duper High-Five. “They called this movie ‘Little Jew I Want…
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A Cinephile Has Bizarre Wishes
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Read more: A Cinephile Has Bizarre WishesOne-He wants ALL the film merch of Pee Wee’s Big Adventure that they only released in Japan and Burma and include characters that weren’t in the movie like ‘Mecha-Francis’;, Two-He wants the power to mix and match the lesser-known, overlooked film actors he feels haven’t been bathed in divine glory as he believes, in his…