Category: Rants
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What Happens at a Timeshare Presentation?: Look Into the Mouth of Hell
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Read more: What Happens at a Timeshare Presentation?: Look Into the Mouth of HellWe were engulfed in a lake of slime and filth so vile that it would tarnish every amenity promised to us.
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Why Bad Tippers Deserve Horrible Deaths
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Read more: Why Bad Tippers Deserve Horrible DeathsIf you do not tip, or if you tip substantially less than social norms dictate, you deserve to be drowned in a cauldron of boiling vomit. You are the worst. A dictator who cleansed the earth of bad tippers would be remembered as a hero for a hundred generations. The argument for tipping is pretty…
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Madison Rising: Music Review
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Read more: Madison Rising: Music ReviewIt’s Metal…For your Mom. Back in the day, the only day that ever really mattered, the 1980s, heavy metal music was about the only way, absent an errant missile strike by the Soviet Union, for young people to watch their oppressors suffer, be they parent, teacher, Congressman, or cop. While their pursed lips, crooked fingers,…
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2001: A Space Odyssey Review and Redux
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Read more: 2001: A Space Odyssey Review and ReduxI bought a motorcycle helmet at a garage sale, and I don’t own a motorcycle. One man’s safety device is another man’s pretend space helmet.
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Casey Nocket: Wanted Dead or Alive (Preferably the former)
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Read more: Casey Nocket: Wanted Dead or Alive (Preferably the former)Miranda July, you’re off the hook.
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The Misunderstood: Iceman
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Read more: The Misunderstood: IcemanWe are all gay for Iceman over here.
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Martin Folse : Destroyer of the Community.
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Read more: Martin Folse : Destroyer of the Community.Every village has an idiot, but usually that idiot doesn’t own a television station. My village is very special. The local channel that serves my community is owned by one of the most buffoonish men to reside south of I-10. Citizens of my community are regularly given front row seats to witch hunts orchestrated by…
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Elton John Rocks: An Appreciation
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Read more: Elton John Rocks: An AppreciationOctober 5th 1973. I was driving my uncle’s Lincoln Mk III to deliver a case of scotch (Chivas Regal, the good stuff) to the rented house of my boss, the producer/director Charles Pierce. He had rented a eyesore at the very top of Laurel Canyon. Charle’s thirst was even greater than my own, although he…
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Chinese Moms: A Rant
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Read more: Chinese Moms: A RantLet’s start with the popular view of China and its role in the future. This whole ‘Chinese Moms’ controversy was only possible because this is what we actually believe: It seems to be a common enough view that this race of pitiless automatons will come to dominate us all. But really, this baroque showcase is…
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Jorts!
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Read more: Jorts!I’m not going to hold my tongue any longer. Jorts get a pretty bad rap these days. So, for lunch I made a video response. I feel like I’m the only one in the corner of Jorts, but somebody had to stand up for them and all my persecuted jorts wearing brothers.