Category: Movies
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The Only True Detective Review You’ll Ever Need
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Read more: The Only True Detective Review You’ll Ever NeedIn my mind, Marty and Rust went on to become successful P.I. partners, Senator Tuttle eventually got caught molesting Honey Boo Boo, and Melissa Joan Hart lived on to kill again.
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Smokey and the Bandit 2
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Read more: Smokey and the Bandit 2Whether smacking his gum or winking into the camera, Reynolds had a nation by the balls and…
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300: Rise Of An Empire
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Read more: 300: Rise Of An EmpireIn these days of endless sequels, prequels, remakes, reboots, remaquels, reimaginings, updates, by-the-numbers tentpole franchise installments, rip-offs, spin-offs, cash-ins, and bland PG-13 superhero blockbusters produced for the sole purpose of maintaining a studios’ legal claim to a titles’ intellectual property rights, it is refreshing to behold an unashamedly gory big budget action epic that…
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A Ghoulies Review in 10 Facts
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Read more: A Ghoulies Review in 10 FactsGhoulies, AKA The Toilet Monsters, is a subtle Star Wars rip off with a a great novelty death and a young Mariska Hargitay.
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Juan Does Oscar
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Read more: Juan Does OscarA Ruthless Guide to Some of the 2014 Academy Awards Failures
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Carrie (2013)
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Read more: Carrie (2013)Facepalm: The Motion Picture
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Pompeii (2014 version)
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Read more: Pompeii (2014 version)You either want to enjoy tens of thousands people dying in a fiery holocaust, or you don’t.
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Simon of the Desert
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Read more: Simon of the DesertLeave it to Bunuel to craft a film depicting lunacy in crystalline form that manages to both indict religion in general, and invite sympathy for the insanely devout. Considering the question of faith and its value, it helps to simplify the environment around the intellectual exercise that will provide the context. History has documented the…
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Robocop 2014
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Read more: Robocop 2014Tagline: We’ve got the future under control. Entire Story in fewer words than are in this sentence right here. A more family friendly Robocop is more friendly with his family Corpse Count: I got about 28, though there was some tasing mixed in and it was sometimes hard to tell. Novelty Death: Clutching at straws…
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August: Osage County
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Read more: August: Osage CountyIf I wanted to see a bunch of drunken, drug-abusing, incestuous, adulterous, hypocrites shouting at each other while breaking crockery, I’d attend a family reunion.