Author: Devon Pack

If you want a vision of the future, as Orwell said, imagine a weeping mustachioed man-child masturbating into the input socket of a sighing iPad- forever.

Ultimately, the film feels more like the Ron Burgundy sketch show than a comedy film. But overall, it’s too disorganized, a grunting stream of non sequiturs thrown out in a desperate chase to dig every vein of comedy gold that can be found.

One of the textbooks symptoms of a bad sequel is one that tries to merely repeat what you liked about the film, while jostling you sharply in the ribs to remind you of what you once enjoyed.

I get it, evil future dictators. You like gladiatorial death-matches because they allow you to entertain the public while slaying your opponents. Do you know a better way to kill those two mockingjays with one stone? Play the Benny Hill music as the soundtrack every time you televise an execution.

Fair Value of Ender’s Game: $11.50. It’s a cold sprinting synopsis of the book, but it still packs a solid cathartic impact in the resolution. Why Didn’t You Boycott Orson Scott Card? I sharply disagree with Card’s misogyny, homophobia, and religious conservatism. I can say the same thing for H. P. Lovecraft. If I were…

The entire universe is at threat of being converted into the dark matter Red Vines of doom, but nobody seems to care all that much. The characters are numb to the stakes, and that left me numb to the characters.