Author: Dave Franklin
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Stop this Sketch. It’s Silly
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Read more: Stop this Sketch. It’s SillyNamed after their famous catchphrase, the Pythons’ first movie is actually a rehash of sketches from their 1969-70 TV shows. Despite that, And Now for Something Completely Different is brilliant from start to finish, a staggeringly well-chosen compilation that includes The Lumberjack Song, The Dead Parrot, and Upper Class Twit of the Year. It’s also…
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Enter The Dragon (1973)
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Read more: Enter The Dragon (1973)Every man fantasizes about having Bruce Lee inside of him. Hmm, call me a cynic, but I sense this simple statement already being misconstrued. Let me be a bit clearer. I don’t mean we feverishly dream of being bummed by the little Asian poppet. I mean we’re all in love with the idea of a…
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Fat Fuckers
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Read more: Fat FuckersChubsters, lard asses and human hippos appear to be the latest group of people we’re s’posed to tippy toe on eggshells around, if not show automatic respect for. Fantastic, and I’ll certainly bear that in mind the next time I’m wedged next to one in Coach Class or I see some slobbering blubber guts outside…
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Brain Eating, Gang Rape and Other Funny Stuff
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Read more: Brain Eating, Gang Rape and Other Funny Stuff“I’d walk a mile for a chuckle.” Great line, huh? It comes from 1957’s excellent Sweet Smell of Success. It’s a simple statement that perfectly captures a sense of ennui. In seven short words you get a feel for how the character’s been numbed by the daily grind, how he’s surrounded by unremarkable people and…
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Hey, PE Teacher! Leave Them Kids Alone!
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Read more: Hey, PE Teacher! Leave Them Kids Alone!I’ve never quite gotten over my first PE lesson aged eleven at a big school. After surviving a bruising game of rugger in which I was sometimes mistaken for the ball, I tried my best to change back into my uniform and sneak home as the prospect of a group shower at that somewhat self-conscious…
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Carter v. Shand: Battle of the British Gangsters
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Read more: Carter v. Shand: Battle of the British GangstersThere are many people who like to grapple with the Big Questions, such as whether we’re alone in the universe, what happens after death and what celeb has the best tits. Luckily I’m in a position to answer the last one in that God has the best tits because (a he’s Perfection so it stands…
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The Ten-Year Summer Of Jenny
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Read more: The Ten-Year Summer Of JennySo who’s your dream movie girl? The one who gets your heart pumping? The one so far removed from your mundane existence that if you’re honest you know you’re not worthy to share the same planet. In fact, you’re not even sure such a divine vixen is from Earth. Perhaps God lowered her from the…
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Dulce et Decorum Est… Nah, War Can Be Fun!
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Read more: Dulce et Decorum Est… Nah, War Can Be Fun!On balance, any serious examination of World War Two would have to conclude the Nazis were a tad uncouth, disagreeable even. And yet without their naughty goose-stepping antics across Germany and the rest of Europe, moviedom would be immeasurably poorer. So sure, sixty-odd million people lost their lives during humanity’s worst ever quarrel, but the…
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Theater Of Blood (1973)
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Read more: Theater Of Blood (1973)Do you have a mantra that helps you get through life’s darker moments? You know, something that enables you to cope with the searing knowledge that dreams don’t come true and you’ll instead have to settle for second, third or fourth best as you crawl unfulfilled toward your grave. I cling to the insight of…
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Cruising (1980)
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Read more: Cruising (1980)I once backpacked in Hanoi and happened to walk past a public toilet to see one of the little locals loitering near the entrance. Certain he’d caught my eye, he proceeded to unzip and begin wanking. Slightly taken aback (while trying to hang onto the old adage Travel broadens the mind) I looked around to…