Author: Dave Franklin
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Tina! Bring Me The Axe!
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Read more: Tina! Bring Me The Axe!Cinema is littered with ridiculous turns, most of them delivered by Nic Cage. Talented as he is at scenery chewing (as anyone who’s seen Con Air or The Wicker Man remake will attest) I still don’t think his frequent hammy excesses can ever reach the level of Faye Dunaway in Mommie Dearest. This 1981 travesty…
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Fucked-Up Films #5: Wolf Creek (2005)
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Read more: Fucked-Up Films #5: Wolf Creek (2005)Film Title Wolf Creek Synopsis Australia. The outback. And you thought venomous snakes were scary. Director Greg McLean Cast John Jarratt Nathan Phillips Cassandra Magrath Kestie Morassi What are these sick bastards doing? Actually, Ben, Kristy and Liz aren’t sick bastards. They’re lovely guys partying on the Western Australian coast who are about to undertake…
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Imaginative Bursts of Sadism
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Read more: Imaginative Bursts of SadismDo you ever do that thing, perhaps while life hasn’t been treating you too brilliantly, when you start reading up on sicko Nazi and serial killer shit? You don’t mean to (perhaps you’ve got a spare half-hour between charity commitments) but somehow you’re disappearing into the bowels of the internet consuming blood-drenched pages about medieval…
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The Amusingly Bonkers: Part Two
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Read more: The Amusingly Bonkers: Part TwoSwitchblade Sisters AKA The Jezebels (1975) Normally if a movie contains knife fights, rape, pimping, drug dealing, nudity and shootings, you can safely assume it’s a drama. Not Switchblade. It’s pure comedy from start to finish. It’s so OTT there’s not one ounce of dramatic tension to be found, but wander into its overheated, estrogen-fuelled…
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The Amusingly Bonkers: Part One
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Read more: The Amusingly Bonkers: Part OneThere are plenty of people who take enormous pleasure in hooting through terrible movies. The so-bad-it’s-good crowd. Fair enough. I must admit I enjoy The Exorcist’s craptastic sequel, a flick that regularly ends up on lists of the worst ever made. I also heartily respond to the mammalian madness of Orca: The Killer Whale, a…
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Ulzana’s Raid (1972)
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Read more: Ulzana’s Raid (1972)Film Title Ulzana’s Raid Director Robert Aldrich Synopsis Merciless killers chase merciless killers across the merciless desert Cast Burt Lancaster Bruce Davison Jorge Luke Richard Jaeckel Joaquin Martinez Some films don’t appeal. They might be a huge hit, win a boatload of Oscars, and get cracking reviews and yet… I’d rather read the Koran than…
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Old Fuckers
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Read more: Old FuckersAt the beginning of Rocky IV, Rocky and Apollo dance around the ring throwing mock insults but essentially admiring each other’s physiques. It’s one of moviedom’s gayest starts, especially with lines like “I’m gonna whip your butt” and “You really look good for an older guy.” To be honest, it’s a bit of a surprise…
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Crawlspace (1986)
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Read more: Crawlspace (1986)Sometimes you want a movie to educate, move or inspire you. And sometimes you just wanna watch that pint-sized Teutonic nutter Klaus Kinski collect eyeballs. Now I’m not one to condemn actors for their off-screen behavior or ill-judged Tweets. I don’t really care what they get up to or what their political affiliations are. I…
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Early Days: Part Two
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Read more: Early Days: Part TwoBlaxploitation As you probably know, I likes me a bit of blaxploitation, even though much of it was an unashamed rip-off of whatever whitey was up to. Westerns, horror, crime, comedies… the blacks always had some sort of crappy facsimile to hand as typified by the likes of Blacula and Black Shampoo. Well, everyone’s gotta…
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Early Days: Part One
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Read more: Early Days: Part OneBy Dave Franklin I’ve met a handful of folk who insist old movies are boring. They don’t like stuff from cinema’s greatest decade, the 1970s, because it’s slow or the special effects aren’t as good or the hairdos are silly. Anyhow, after I’ve stabbed these ignoramuses and they’ve begun to recover from the shock, I…